Bob: Introduction to this blog
This blog is written by my partner Eline. It has little to do with tea or chai. However, this whole journey wouldn’t be possible without her support. And sometimes it is nice to throw a little bit of love into the mix. I hope this blog may inspire you in whatever way.
That you accept the life you think you deserve and settle for nothing less.
Our (energetic) marriage.
“Omdat je mijn levenslieffie bent”. A phrase Bob spoke when he energetically proposed to me on my 32nd birthday. “I choose you at this moment and want to celebrate the love for us and between us”. My heart skipped a beat. It felt so real, special, and exciting. Yes, we relate as life lovers. To me, Bob is the love of my life. For several lives. I believe our souls have been walking the same path together for a long time. And who knows….maybe we’ll have some future lives left too.
How I see Bob.
The feeling of being so at home with someone, being able to move around so freely and at the same time being able to long for even more togetherness. I have never touched with anyone what I touch with Bob. It’s hard to put into words. How we often think about something at exactly the same time. How incredibly good we can mirror the other and withdraw to the core of our being. How hard Bob makes me laugh and makes all my worrying thoughts disappear with his funny jokes, playful hugs, loving touches, and very special dances. How we continue to develop sexually and learn from each other. Every time again. How we also allow some times to be slow and not so wild and sexy. How there is always space for everything we feel. How we communicate with each other. How my favourite moment of the day is always at night before going to sleep when we snuggle up and end the day together. How fast I always cycle home from work, because there is no place I want to be more than with my two favourite people. I feel deeply blessed to have Bob next to me at this moment. So connected and pure. So playful and light. So loving and honest. So free and together.
We never wanted to get traditionally married. With both our parents divorced, we naturally questioned the concept of marriage. For who are we actually doing it? It didn’t seem very attractive to us. And we quickly agreed that the money we could spend on a wedding we would rather spend on our abundant lifestyle, for example, a beautiful trip or a campervan. But the most important reason is that we do not know whether we will be together in this form of relationship for the rest of our lives.
Even when we were dating we already felt that what we have is great. It feels insanely special and good. We both never experienced a romantic connection like this before. But we can’t foresee how long this will last. We’ve always been open about possibly experiencing multiple lovers. We’re honest in that we both still can, want, and are allowed to fall in love with other people. And also realistic that the love we feel now may one day take a different shape.
If there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that change will always be there. Change offers us growth and means that we can look at ourselves and each other again and again. The form of love has changed already in the past 3 years (because yes that’s how long -or short- we’ve been together!).
From young puppies in love to inquisitive adventurers to strong independent individuals who choose a life together. We have flown from carefree dating to a deeply meaningful relationship in which we’re raising a child together and being able to make tough life-changing choices together.
Choosing our form of love
What we have realised in the last 3 years is that the love that Bob and I feel for each other will always exist in a pure form. I truly believe that our purity is not going to change. However, the shape and form around it may be. Bob and I are forever connected by our beautiful son Ben, and our soul child Sterre. If there’s anything I want to pass along to Ben, it’s that Mum and Dad can’t promise that we will always share our lives together, but we will always share love in whatever form it takes; partners, long-distance partners, ex-partners, friends, parents, neighbours, family. All beautiful and authentic. And right now we are very consciously choosing a romantic partnership.
This is definitely something we’d wanna celebrate. For us. In our own way. Without rules. We don’t have anything planned. Our celebration is everywhere already. In little moments together during the day, or in company with our closest friends. And maybe we will have a little ceremony someday. Pure and simple. At this moment, I celebrate our love by carrying this beautiful wooden ring that Bob gave me on my last birthday. And to me, that is double special because I never wear jewelry. So I choose consciously to wear this ring with my whole heart, with pride and gratefulness. By celebrating us; Bob & Eline, in this life where we are right now.
The ring is wonderfully custom-made by Merieke, founder of Timberring. Look at her website for more beautiful products